“Motherhood is near to divinity.
It is the highest,
holiest service to be assumed by mankind.
It places her who honors its
holy calling and service next to the angels.”
Sometimes being a mom is hard. Really hard. Not hard in the same way
that going to school full time is hard. Not hard in the same way that
running miles, or swimming laps is hard. Not hard in the same way that
being a Chemist is hard. All those things are hard...but being a mom
has a whole different set of challenges. I guess it is the little,
repetitive things that add up each day that make being a mom
overwhelming sometimes. Like, the mountains of laundry that never, ever
go away. Like, the crumbs under the table that seem to multiply no
matter how often I vacuum. Like, the stains that cover my carpet no
matter how often I steam clean it. Its the toys on the floor that stub
my toes. Its the toothpaste smeared on the mirrors, the muddy
hand-prints on the counters, and the dirty footprints on the rug. Its
the cups of water that get spilled on the table pretty much every single
day. Its the mail that gets torn to peaces all over the floors. Its
the bathwater that get sprayed all over the bathroom. Its the cushions
of the couch that get thrown around the room, the pacifiers that get
lost, and the fingerprints all over the newly cleaned windows. Its the
jewelry that gets flushed down the toilet, my belongings that get
broken, and the expensive rash cream that gets smeared all over the
room. Its the diapers that need to be changed (so far I have changed
about 850+ diapers just on Blake in the last 2.5 months, plus another
two kids over the last 5 years...that is A LOT of diapers), the bums to
be wiped, the scrapped knees to be bandaged, the noses to be blown, and
the throw-up to be cleaned. Its the crying, the yelling, the pushing,
the fighting, the lessons to be taught, and the time outs to be given.
Its the back talking, the not listening, and the little attitudes. Its
the middle of the night nightmares, the middle of the night diaper
blow-outs, the middle of the night feedings, and the early morning
wakings. Its the curdled milk in lost sippy cups, the endless piles of
prepared meals that go uneaten, and the marks that have been scratched
into my nice wooden furniture by little hands. Its the snot wiped on
the couch, the pieces of broken crayons that are all over the house, and
the tears and wailing that comes from the simple words: "Please pick up
your toys!!" Its the constant colds the boys seem to pick up from
everywhere no matter how hard I try to clean their hands and keep them
healthy. Its the car seats to be buckled, the diaper bags to lug
around, and the hours I have to spend in the morning getting everyone
ready. The list can go on and on, and I feel like over the last week I
have been boggled down by all the little mundane tasks of motherhood.
When one is sleep deprived, things just seem harder than they are.
Dealing with all these little things is not a big deal once in a while,
but when they seem to happen every single day over and over, it can get
overwhelming. When Jason gets home late, and I have been with the boys
all day, and then again I deal with them all night, it feels like there
really is no break time for Mommy. That is ok. I signed up for this
job, and I am extremely grateful for it. I am forever grateful that I
can stay home with my boys. It is an amazing blessing that I wouldn't
change for anything in the world. My kids are the most amazing people I
have ever met, and my greatest blessing. They each bring such a special
spirit to our home, and I can't believe they are mine. I am thankful
for their healthy bodies and cute personalities every single day.
However, even though I am happy doesn't mean I can't also be exhausted.
Just because I am grateful, doesn't mean I can't also feel
overwhelmed. And you know, what? That is ok. It is ok to feel that
way sometimes. I think all mom's have those days, and that is perfectly
normal. I think as long as I remain positive, and remember that with
each hard day, there are many, many more amazing days. So many older
mom's tell me how they wish they could go back to the time when their
kids were little and appreciate it more. I am trying my hardest to do
just that - make the most out of these short years. These years where
they still need me to kiss boo-boo's, cuddle them after nightmares, and
reassure them that there is no monster in the dark. These years where
they want me to wrestle them on the floor, tickle their "pits" and give
pony rides. These years when a silly Mommy is a cool Mommy, and where
blowing bubbles in milk causes an eruption of laughter (even though
Mommy told them not to do that a million times). These years while my
boys still love hugging and kissing me. These years when Wesley tells
me he is sooooo glad he picked me to be his Mommy. These years when my
boys love to pick me flowers, and bring me special 'treasures' like
snails and worms. These years where I can just sit and cuddle them on
the couch, rub their head as I sing them a goodnight song, and hold
their hand to cross the street. These years when they declare with open
arms that they love me THHHHIIIIISSSSS much!!! These years when the
tickle monster is amazingly awesome, and when all three boys can be
crammed into the handicap bathroom at the store as Mommy uses the
restroom, and not think anything of it. These years when they love to
pop bubbles, play with sticks, blow on dandelion weeds, and run around
in diapers or undies. These years when they are still my little
boys...they might be crazy and exhausting...but they are small for such a
short time. It might feel like I am going to be doing this stuff
forever, but when I stop to think about it - it is only a few years
before they will be independent and won't need me as much. Right now is
so important. This time when childhood is magical and everything is new
and exciting. This is the time to really make the most out of. Right
now I am sooo tired and worn out, but I am sooo grateful I have the
opportunity to be tired and worn out. Its a hard job - but its the best
job. (I have to remind myself of that somedays, lol)
These three handsome, crazy little men are my world :-)
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