Just Waiting....

 I have always been a perfectionist.  I need to know what is going to happen, when it is going to happen, and I need to be prepared.  I get anxiety when things are planned last minute, or when plans are changed.  Well, nature wants to make sure I learn a valuable lesson - I can't control everything.  Sometimes I just need to go with the flow, and adapt to new situations.   On Thursday I had my 39 week OB/GYN appointment.  My doctor stripped my membranes and she told me that it brings labor on about 50% of the time when one's body is ready for labor.  It didn't work with Chase, but I was willing to give it a try again.  I was a little crampy that day, and started loosing my plug.  That night I got some strong contractions that were so intense they made me shake.  They only lasted a short time, and then they went away.  That morning (Friday), I was still crampy and started having painless contractions.   They started to become more regular,  and I began to time them with a contraction app on my phone.  I texted Jason at work to let him know I was having regular contractions, about 6 min apart.  They were not hurting, but that is how Chase's labor started, and he came pretty fast.  Jason left work a few hours early to be home with the boys and I, just in case labor was starting.  Contractions continued coming, but still at 6 minutes apart almost all day, and they were not getting any stronger.  I was really confused, and had no idea if I was having false labor, or a really slow early labor.  I asked my parents to pick up the boys for the night, just in case.  I thought for sure labor was starting.  Well, the contractions slowed down that night after I went to bed.  I woke up around 4am feeling really good, but mentally tired and frustrated. I felt like I should know what is going on since this is my third baby, right?!  I was so confused, and sad that my body wasn't working like I had planned in my head.  I woke up Saturday morning, and I was still having infrequent contractions.  Jason and I decided to go out to breakfast that morning before picking up the boys.  We went to a cute Crepe Cafe at Victoria Gardens, and I ordered a yummy strawberry crepe.  It was a really nice time to just relax with Jason and try to stop focusing on contractions (even though I had my timer right next to me).  When we were done, I got up, and I realized I had a wet spot on my pants.  I called my mom and told her we were going to go home and see if  my waters broke.  Well, once home,  I was still getting mild contractions like 10 min apart, but nothing else, and I was pretty sure my waters didn't break.  Jason and I tried watching a movie to get my mind off of all this labor watching, but I was still confused and unable to do much except for count my contractions and try to figure out what was going on.  I called the hospital, but they just told me what I already know - wait until the contractions are closer together and become stronger.  I finally decided to pick up the boys since nothing seemed to be happening.  I still got contractions all day, and they started hurting more.  A promising sign, right?  By night I was pretty tired from having almost two days of contractions.  Jason and I thought for sure this baby was going to come soon.   Well, over night they mostly went away except for one or two each hour that would wake me up.  I woke up this morning feeling really good (physically), and we all went to church.  I was pretty sad that I still didn't have my baby in my arms, just infrequent contractions to keep confusing me. The waiting game is that much harder when my body keeps trying to tease me!!  After I had Wesley early, I never understood why women complained about making it full term.  I always thought that people who were so frustrated with being full term didn't realize how lucky and blessed they were to have made it that far.   I keep trying to remind myself of that mentality!!  I still feel good, it is just the unknown that is the hard part. I can't emphasize enough how grateful I am to be full term, and to have made it to my due date (tomorrow).   I have nothing to complain about, but I am ready- mentally and physically.  Being teased by these contractions for three days is hard.  It is also having a plan, and then things not going to plan that is the hard part.  I am grateful he is kicking away, and that I still feel really good except for the contractions and really bad pelvic and thigh pain.   So, as of now, Sunday evening, I am still having mild contractions here and there.  I am not going to time them anymore until they become more painful and regular.  It is exciting thinking I might be close, but disheartening thinking this might be really long false labor.  We will see, and I know my body is doing what is best for this baby.  I know he will come when ready (as everyone keeps reminding me!)  :-)  Until then, I keep trying to go for walks, enjoy being pregnant, and just relax and not worry (easier said than done).  I am beyond grateful for Jason who has been so sweet and supportive.  He has been making dinners, lunches, entertaining boys, going to the store to pick up things we need (and things I want like ice cream),  trying to take my mind off of contractions, and trying to let me relax.   I know my little baby will be here soon, even though it doesn't always feel that way!  :-) 

All ready to come back home from Grandma's house

Walking around the lake.  This picture is curtsey of Wesley the photographer