All of the sudden (well, over the course of a few months), I had been thinking a lot about adding a new little one to our family. For a long time I felt content and happy, and then I started to feel like maybe it was time to add to our blessings. Wesley and Chase both came exactly when we started planning for another baby, but for some reason I assumed that this one would take longer. I have some dear friends going through infertility problems, and my heart really aches for them. I really, honestly thought that since I was getting "older" (I'm only 28, but in medical terms with each passing year it is supposed to be a little harder to have a baby), that it may take a while. Maybe it was so I would appreciate things that much more. I even joined a baby group online for moms, pregnant moms, and those trying to conceive. Reading everyone's postings about their struggles with infertility made me really sad. There are so many things that people take for granted, like growing a life. It is nothing short of a miracle, and I feel so sad for those that can so easily abort their baby and don't see what a precious life they are growing.
Well, fast forward a few months. Jason was away on a business trip in Las Vegas and I started having to pee a lot at night. A light bulb went off, and I kind of knew. I was still almost a week away from when my period was supposed to start, but I went to the Dollar Tree and bought a few tests. I didn't know if they would work that early, but I took one and got the faintest possible line. If I wasn't looking really hard for it, I wouldn't have even seen it. I took a picture, and adjusted the color settings online (I sound crazy, ha ha ha), and sure enough, there was a line. My heart started pounding, but I didn't want to get my hopes up because it was early, and the line was so faint. I took another test the next day - negative. I was a little sad, but I just kind of knew it was early, and I still felt that I was pregnant. I took one more the next day after that - positive. (They are only a dollar so I don't feel so bad for taking so many!) I was so excited that I ran to Walgreen's (the closest store with pregnancy tests!) to get a nice digital one and ran home to take the test. A minute later, there it appeared in all its glory - the simple word that changes lives forever: pregnant! I was too excited to wait, so I called Jason and told him to check his email because I was sending him a cute picture of an early anniversary gift (our anniversary was a few days later). He didn't call me back for a long time. I was really sad. I called him, and he told me he never got any pictures, and he was super tired and about to sleep and that I could send him the picture another day. No!!! Not how I pictured it going in my head. I texted him the picture, and that woke him up!! :-) He wasn't really expecting to see that, so he was super shocked. Even though this will be my third, I am just as excited (and still nervous) about the little life inside me. I've learned to not take this process for granted, and it is truly a blessing and a miracle.
I am now 9 weeks, and I often have to remind myself how grateful I am for this little person growing inside me, because, holy moly - my body is not adjusting too well, ha ha ha. It is easy to forget how hard the first few months are. I had a really, really hard time with Chase until I was about 15 weeks, and this time is not quite as bad, but it still is taking a toll. I have no energy, constant nausea, and I get worn out sooo easily. I am also getting over a cold, so add stuffy nose and cough to the mix, and you have a great combination. I had soooo much energy a few months back, and would go on walks all the time. Now, I can hardly walk across the street without getting winded. I unload the dishes from the dishwasher, and I literally have to sit down in front of the fan for 10 minutes after because I am so tired and hot. It is a very bizarre feeling to feel so lethargic and kind of helpless. I know it will pass, and all the hormones are going crazy. I know that my body is being loaned out, and right now all my energy reserves are being used to support the baby until the placenta kicks in. I know what an important task my body is doing, and I am so grateful for that. I am grateful for a loving husband who has made dinner almost every night he has been home from Guam because I just can't do it (or I will serve cereal or PB&J, which there is nothing wrong with! :-) ). I don't like feeling this way, but I am thankful for the opportunity to have this blessing. I am hoping feel better in a month or so, so I can enjoy going out again. Even just going for walks around the mall, or going to the park is really hard for me. I don't like feeling nauseous in front of other people, and I know I am not much fun right now! :-P The boys have been really good for me, and that is a huge blessing. Chase takes long naps, and Wesley will sit and watch tv, so I can usually get a nap in during the afternoon if I need to.
I have been wanting to document this pregnancy more, because I don't have a whole lot of details with Wesley or Chase. I do have some stuff written down on this blog, and in my journal about their pregnancies, but not a lot of details. It is hard when I am feeling so yucky, but it is good for me. I always get worried to post this stuff early on, in case something happens, but no matter what - I still want to remember everything. We got an ultrasound done yesterday, but I will post more about that later.
I bought like 5 dollar store tests. I figure, store brand cost like $10 - $15 for one or two tests, so dollar store tests are a bargain - they are just as sensitive, and you get way more for a lot less. So, if you are crazy like me, and like looking at this stuff, here are some pictures of my pregnancy journey. I used to think it was kind of weird looking at other people's pee sticks, but if you have ever had a positive test, you know how exciting and amazing it is!!
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| SUPER faint line. I had to open the cassette to see the line really well, but there is something there where I put the blue arrows! |
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| Two days later - darker line, but still faint. I took the digital test after this one. For those that don't know what they are looking at, the line on the left is the control line - it just shows up to make sure the test is working. The line on the right is the test line, and only shows up if pregnant. The darker the line, the more hormones in your body, so it usually gets darker the farther along you are. |
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| Another day or two later, the line is getting darker |
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| One or two days after missed period - nice and dark! :-) Yay! |
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