Sheryl was one of the most accepting and loving people I have known. There have been a few times in my life where she stood up for me and supported me while others chastised and lectured. She always made me feel welcomed and loved in her family. She always let Jason and I make our own choices in life, and never felt the need to inject her opinions unless we asked for them. She was there for us when we needed her, and always supported us in our decisions. Here are some memories/observations I will always cherish:
---Sheryl oozed generosity. At baby showers, weddings, bridal showers, and birthday parties she always brought really expensive gifts (even if she couldn't always afford such nice gifts). She loved taking her kids and grandkids to fun places. She always offered to pay for the bill at restaurants, buy expensive souvenirs, and pay for extra tickets to special events. Two years ago when I came down to California I asked her if she could get us discounted tickets to Disneyland through her work (I was going to buy them). She offered to take us all to Lego Land instead. She not only paid for one night at the legoland hotel, she also paid for all our Legoland tickets, paid for valet parking, bought a dinner buffet for all of us and a breakfast buffet. While I'm often stingy with my kids and carefully consider prices before buying things, Sheryl never thought twice about the cost - she just wanted to make her family happy. For as long as I have known Jason, their home was always full of old furniture. It often had scratches, dings, and other imperfections. However, while she could have used her money to buy nice, new things for her home, she preferred to spend her money on others. Another example is when I was pregnant with Wesley. I started outgrowing my regular clothing but didn't want to buy expensive maternity clothing (I had just quit working, and we were saving up to buy our first house). She noticed my pants were unbuttoned and held together by a rubber band. She insisted I get in the car, and immediately took me to motherhood maternity where she spent over $100 on new maternity clothing for me. I was overwhelmed by her kindness and generosity. That is just who she was! She wanted to take care of other people. Once she took us all to the movies. When I go to the movies, I sneak in some cheep candy and call it good. Not Sheryl! She bought each of her grandkids their own popcorn, slushie, and candy. She spent almost $100 just on snacks at the theatre and didn't even bat an eye, while I almost fainted from the cost! That is just who she was!
---A few years ago my family was experiencing a really big trial. I was overwhelmed and bombarded by everyone's opinions on this matter. I didn't know who to turn to - I felt like I was only receiving frustration and judgement from others. I accidentally sent Sheryl a text message that was meant for someone else, but it ended up being the best thing that could have happened. I was too scared to tell her about my feelings, but this accidental text message told her everything. She ended up responding with so much love, and kindness, and acceptance. I needed her love so much at that time. My only regret is that I never told her how much I needed her at that time. I never thanked her for her kindness. Unfortunately, in todays' world, pure love and acceptance is really hard to come by. Sheryl always loved me, and accepted me just the way I was and words cannot express how thankful I am for that.
---After Wesley was born I was in a bad state of mind. He was in the NICU and I honestly thought I was going to loose him. I started blaming myself, and a few other people blamed me as well. I was in the hallway of the NICU and I lost it. I was an emotional mess, and Sheryl grabbed me, hugged me and looked me in the eyes and told me it wasn't my fault. She told me she loved me, and that nothing I did caused my baby to come early. Again - this was such a simple act, but I NEEDED to hear that. I needed her love and acceptance at that time more than anything in the world. She probably will never know how much she changed my life with those few simple words.
---Sheryl overdid it every Christmas. When we lived in California half our living room was covered in presents when she came over. When we moved up to Utah she started sending Amazon gifts. She sent so many, she often forgot what she sent and who they were for. One year our entire room was full of amazon boxes. She came up to spend a few days with us, and wanted to watch us open the presents. Box after box she opened and would hand the gift to whomever it was for. The problem was that she bought so much, she didn't know who anything belonged to. She just handed out the gifts to the boys randomly. She ended up buying Jason like five huge and expensive things off his wish list, when I think she only intended to buy him a few ha ha ha! During that same Christmas we took her to go see some lights. I told Jason he should open the sunroof so we could see better. I was sitting in the back with the boys, and Sheryl was in the passenger seat. As soon as Jason opened the roof an avalanche of snow fell on them. It was hilarious and we were all cracking up.
---Sheryl worked hard as a nurse and she loved what she did. However, she also loved taking time off work and going on family vacations every Summer. She always wanted her kids and grandkids to join her, and of course she offered to pay for everything. A couple times she rented cabins near Sequoia and we enjoyed spending time in nature with her. The last few years she rented a beach house every summer. Sadly, her knees had been getting worse and the last trip she couldn't even make it down to the beach, so she just enjoyed the views from the house. She never complained though, and just made the most out of life the best she could. Even though she didn't have very good health, she was always excited to travel and go on an adventure - even if she had to stay in the car and enjoy the views from the window. I really admire that about her.
---Sheryl didn't have an easy life. She had family troubles growing up, got married and had kids really young, and had to deal with a divorce in her early twenties. She overcame poverty, and graduated from nursing school all while her children were little. She worked as a nurse as a single mother, and did everything she could to make sure her kids had a good life. When I started dating Jason, she worked the overnight shift and was often tired, but always made sure she was an active part of their lives. I remember she gave Jason money for our dates, and she never lectured him about coming home at a certain time or not getting into trouble. She trusted her kids, and I think that is one reason they all turned out really well. I was always so appreciative of how relaxed she was. I never felt uncomfortable or nervous around her. I knew I could always be myself.
---I'm so grateful Sheryl was my mother in law. She was a good person who overcame a lot of hardships. She never complained, nor did she ever make other's feel bad for her. She didn't seek attention, and lived a very quiet and humble life. She gave to others more than she gave to herself, and she made this world a better place. I will miss her, and I'm a better person for knowing her. Thank you for all the memories.
2 comments:
I was so sorry to hear of her passing. I know exactly how you must feel, as our family was in the same situation last year with the sudden passing of my MIL as well. My heart still breaks and misses her every day. It was such a weird holiday season. I hope your family and especially your husband finds comfort at this time. Do you mind my asking what she passed away from?
April - Thanks for your kind words. Its so hard loosing a loved one so young. I'm sorry for your loss as well. Sheryl had been sick for a while, but ultimately her body just failed and her heart and liver stopped. I have more details on a previous post if you would like to read a little more.
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