30 weeks!

30 weeks!!!  Yay!!!!!  What a happy milestone!  I am always a little on edge during the weeks of the "twenties."  I know if the baby comes early, technically he would probably be ok after a long stay in the NICU, but after 30 weeks, the chances of everything being ok is much higher.  Wesley was so sick at 33 weeks 6 days, I can't imagine how sick a baby born earlier might be.  This is a good week.  However, it is a little sad too.  I am sooo excited to meet sweet baby boy, but I am also loving being pregnant and not ready for it to be over yet.  I know I still have 10ish more weeks, but they will come so fast.  Especially with the holidays, I have a lot of things to get done in the next month or so, and time is going to fly.  I remember with Chase I started reaching that "ok, I am done with being pregnant" feeling around 36 weeks.  I kind of hope I do reach a feeling of being done, because right now I am doing so well, I don't really want it to end yet.  I don't have any aches or pains yet, I can still sleep pretty well, and although I get tired faster, I still have enough energy to get everything done that I need too.  Don't get me wrong - there are some things that are getting harder to do, like picking up Chase, finding clothing that fits and looks cute, going on long walks, bending over, and so on.  However, I am loving his little wiggly movements and it is fun knowing how hard my body is working to help grow this little baby. I love that he is always with me no matter where I go.  I know some women don't like showing off their big belly, but I am proud of it, and I am happy to have it!  :-)  That being said,  there are a few things I am looking forward to about not being pregnant.  I miss being able to hold Wesley and Chase tight, and just cuddle with them.  I feel a little guilty because Chase loves to cuddle and be close, and I just can't hold him like I used to.  I do miss being able to bend over, and I really miss being able to sleep or lie on my back.  I would like to roll around on the floor again with the boys too.  I am in no hurry though for this to be over, and I am enjoying pregnancy while I have this blessing. I know 40 weeks seems like a long time, but after all is said and done, it really is a short time in life.  We are still unsure if this will be our last, but whether or not we decide to have another baby down the road, I want to appreciate this experience as much as I can in case it is my last. 

  Part of me enjoys going to the doctors for baby visits (when I don't have to wait in the waiting room forever though). It is nice having a new hospital only minutes away. The smells and sights remind me of my past experiences, and get me anxiously awaiting delivery.  The soap in the bathroom is the same smell as the soap I used to wash my hands when Wesley was in the NICU.  It is amazing how many emotions something as simple as soap can conjure. Yesterday my doctors appointment went great. Everything looks good.  I am up to about 146 lbs, which means I have gained about 20 lbs so far.  Only a few more appointments to go! I am also slowly getting everything ready at home.  I had nothing ready for Wesley when he came early.  That made me nervous while pregnant with Chase, so I got everything ready for him by 30 weeks.  This time I am trying to find a balance between the two.  I don't want to be completely board the last few months with nothing to do, but I love getting things ready and I hate procrastinating.   I do have all the baby clothing washed and put away.  I bought a lot of new organizers for the boy's room so I can fit all the new clothing in their room.  I just need to wash the cover for the car seat, swing, bouncer, and so on.  I have my birth plan written, and I want to do a some research into hypnobirthing.  I did so much research on natural labor and delivery with Chase, and it really helped.  It was an amazing experience, and I am really hoping to have a similar birth this time.   However, I know things don't always go as planed, and I want to be prepared for any birth experience I may have.  It is a scary realization that only I can deliver this baby.  There are only two ways out, and both ways have their set of challenges. I keep reminding myself that my body was made for this. *gulp* What did I get myself into? lol 

Its nice to be able to "hug" the baby! :-)

Wesley told me the other day, "Don't worry Mommy - your tummy is big because there is a baby in it.  Not because you are fat and ate too much!"