I'm One Tired Mommy

I love my blog for not only keeping track of the fun things we do, but also as a way to remember my feelings about motherhood and life.  I love reading though my old posts about all my triumphs and hardships over the years, because each stage of life goes by so fast, and I literally forget this stuff as the years pass. 

 As of right now....I am one tired mama.   I'm very blessed, but boy am I exhausted.  I think the age Blake is at (9 months) is one of the harder ages for me.  Yes, it is a sweet and fun age because he is starting to figure out the world.  He recognizes me, and actually wants me and wants to be near me.  His little personality is blooming.  This is a fun, precious age.  However, the older infant stage is always a tough one for me. I have been lucky to not have any colicky babies, so the newborn stage has never been too challenging for me. Older toddlers and kids can be entertained  (by TV, toys, art, and so on) so Mommy can get some breaks in during the day, or get house work done.  Infants can't really be entertained on their own, they don't sleep as well as a small baby, and they are always on the move exploring the world.   Now that Blake can crawl (army crawl), and is also proficient at using his pointer finger and thumb to pick things up, EVERYTHING goes in his mouth.  I don't remember having this issue to this extent with the other boys.  Luckily, all our small toys have been put away. However, with two older brothers, the floor doesn't stay clean for long.  Wesley is obsessed with cutting coupons and paper, and his clipping end up all over the floor no matter how hard I try to keep it clean.  There are always food particles scattered about, as well as microscopic pieces of who-knows-what.  Blake has some serious carpet cleaning skills. He can locate the tiniest crumb,  pick it up, and shove it in his mouth with lightning speed before I can even get to him. He is more thorough than our vacuum I think.  It is kind of funny, and tiring at the same time.  I am not exaggerating when I say that every time I put him down, and have to walk away even for a few seconds, I have to sweep his mouth when I come back, because 99.99% of the time, there is something in there.  Now, it is usually never big enough to choke on, but there is always something in there.  A grain of rice...a tiny piece of paper... a small crumb of cereal....a fleck of lint...and so on.  I can't go to the bathroom unless he is in his jumper, or asleep, or in his crib for fear that he will choke while I'm gone.  He then screams because he wants down, so I have to rush with what ever I'm doing because I hate hearing him upset.  He cries when he is alone, and wants to be near me all the time, so it is really hard to get much done at this stage. Yet, when I am holding him he is board, and wants down. Then when he is down he cries because he wants up.  He is starting to fight naps a little more, and that was the main break I got.  He is not sleeping when Wesley is at school, but rather on our drives, or right before I drop him off, so I'm not getting much extra time, and Chase isn't getting the alone time with me like he used to get.  Blake wakes up constantly at night, so there really is no break.  Its round the clock baby duty.  Now, I'm not complaining - just describing life right now, because I know it will all change so fast.  I'm just super, super tired.  I love my sweetness with all my heart, but babies are a lot of work! There really is no break for Mommy at this stage.  It doesn't matter how tired I am...I still have to keep going and take care of two other munchkins.  I think that is the hardest part.  When I used to work full time, I could relax in the evenings, sleep all night, and take a day or two off if I needed too.  Now, I'm working all day and night, and it doesn't matter how absolutely exhausted or overwhelmed I am - I still have to get up every two hours at night with him.  I still have to take Wesley to school even if I just got the baby to sleep, and I still have to make dinner for the boys even if Blake is screaming and I just want to pull the covers over my head, ha ha ha.   My house is so messy, and as much as I am going to miss my home, I am ready for a bigger house.  We are tripping over each other, and I think our home feels so much more chaotic when there are messes all over.   I CAN'T WAIT for the huge toy room in our new home.  EKK!!  No more toys all over the living room!  It will be amazing.  I think my stress level will drop, and the home will be calmer.  At least I am hoping.  Life is good, don't get me wrong.  I count my blessings every, single day, and am immensely grateful to be able to stay home with my kids.  Even if I am a zombie right now, I wouldn't trade it for anything.  I love this "job" more than any other job I have had, or could have right now. It really is the best, but holy moly - This Mama needs some sleep!!  :-) 




My joy, my heart, my sweetness.  He is worth it!!  :-)