trials

Trials make one stronger, right?  These last few weeks have been a bit rough for me.  Jason has been away in Guam for three weeks (it will be three weeks by the time he comes back).  Normally I handle him being away really well.  I know he loves to travel, and things usually go pretty smoothly at home. I am used to it, and it really isn't a big deal.  My parents live close, as well as Jason's family so I always have someone to call if I need anything.  For some reason though, these last few weeks have just been really hard.  I have a few theories, but the boys have seemed to be extra crazy for me.  Chase seems to make these giant messes that never go away.  Kids make messes, and my house is always messy, but it seems recently the messes have thrown up to make more messes.  I clean up, and the next room is just as bad.  Wesley isn't too bad, but little sweet innocent Chase is turning into a tornado!! The boys have been extra hyper too, and have been running around and screaming a lot more.  My house has been invaded by ants.  These little teeny, tiny red ants that pop up EVERYWHERE.  They are driving me bonkers!  I will not use raid or other pesticides in my home, so I am suffering!  They find a tiny crumb in the bathroom, they find the little microscopic piece of sticky candy on a shirt in the hamper, they have invaded my diaper bag on numerous occasions for all the snacks in there, and they have of course made themselves at home in the kitchen.  The pop up out of the cracks under the carpet, and they show up anywhere in the house because they are so small! I use vinegar and  Torro ant traps, which used to work well but these ants don't have any interest in the Torro.  *sigh* Oh yes, and we can't forget the urgent care visit AND the ER visit within a week of each other.  Wesley has been having stomach aches, and one day it just seemed to be getting worse, and he kept throwing up, and he was miserable.  I took him to urgent care, and of course they didn't do much.  I am testing theories about allergies and such, and he seems to be doing a lot better since I have mostly eliminated milk.  Then, last night he felt off a little slide we have in the backyard, and gashed his head open on the cement.  It was a really small cut, but it went really deep - through the fatty layer, and close to the bone I think.  Since it was Saturday evening, the only thing open was the ER.  I am sooooo grateful for my parents who have helped me out tremendously during these fun events!  Luckily, the ER visit was pretty short.  He got one staple, and a huge bandage wrapped around his head that made him look like he got brain surgery.  Then, today at church it was one of the worst days I've had in a while.  Chase woke up with a runny nose (I should have just stayed home), but I had things to do at church, and I already missed last week because I was not feeling well.  I figured I would get blessings for taking the boys alone, and it was supposed to be a good sunday (I heard rumors that a member of the 70 was going to talk, but he didn't).  Chase didn't sleep at all the night before, and was horribly cranky.  Wesley was goobered up on his organic cereal or something, because he was bouncing off the walls!  I was in the halls most of the time, but even that was a challenge between Chase screaming and Wesley running around.  Wesley still had his bandage on (he was supposed to wear it for 24 hours), so we got a million questions.  Chase continued to fuss through church (I didn't take him to nursery in case it was more than allergies), and I just wanted to go home.  Finally at the end I tried to make a mad dash for my car, but Wesley was running around the church, Chase was wallowing in his own misery and everyone kept stopping me to talk about Wesley's head.  I should have made a sign, lol.  After coming home, things weren't much easier.  Poor Chase is just in pure misery even if he only has a small runny nose.  The whole house suffers because all he does is fuss all day.  He won't talk, so I have no idea what he needs or wants.  To make a long story short, the boys are in bed, I am finally able to relax after a very long day, and I can think about the things I am grateful for.  I know for a fact that days like this (or weeks like this, lol), make me stronger and more grateful for the good days.  Tonight Wesley wanted to read a book by Dr. Seuss about how we should be grateful for our life because "there are people who have things muchly, more muchly, ever so much much much muchly more worse than you!!!"  (or something like that!).  It is very true.  It is a cute book, and I have read it many times before, but it meant a lot more to me tonight.   I have a good husband who will be home soon.  Some women have to do this alone all the time due to death or divorce or other circumstances.   My friend's son is in the hospital for phenomena.   At least Wesley's visits were quick and pretty easy.  At least all Chase has is a cold.  He could be much more sick.  I have a home to raise my kids in.  I could be struggling to raise them on the street, or in a small one bedroom apartment in the middle of a bad neighborhood in downtown LA.  At least they have beds to sleep on (even if Chase's nose keeps him up most of the night).  At least I have friends and family who offer to help when I need it.  I have two beautiful boys, and there are a lot of people who would do anything to have a child.  I am blessed, and I need to remember that!!! Life is good, even during the "hard" times.