http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html
Sometimes, I think those of us with blogs only post the good stuff in our lives. Hopefully, most of us have a lot more good than bad anyways. Its not like I purposefully leave out the bad moments, its just that it is a lot more fun to share the fun, cute, happy moments. We all have good times, and we all have bad days too. Unfortunately, when all we see on facebook and other people's blogs is the good stuff, we compare our not so perfect lives with other's "perfect" lives, and it can be a bad thing. I dont want to only post the good, cute, fun stuff, but I want to be real.
I have a good life, I really do. But, being a mom is hard. It is always hard, but some days are harder than others. Chase is not a good sleeper, and I think having 8 months of poor sleep is making both of us cranky. Last night he woke up at 12:30 wanting to nurse. I really dont want to keep up this habit of feeding him at night. As I read in a book, "If you keep offering the boob, the baby will keep waking up for it!!" I am willing to nurse once around 3, but I dont want to do a midnight feeding at 8 months old...then he will just keep waking up all night forever! So, I got up, and gave him a pacifier. He cried more. I got up, and un-swaddled him. He kept crying. I got up and gave him a pacifier again. It is now close to 1:30. He is still crying, and I am exhausted. I dont know what to do....I dont want to let him cry it out...I have been reading so much about peaceful parenting (a whole different post I will have to write about), and I just dont want to make him cry. However, it is time for him to learn to sleep with out nursing, and this is the only way, right??!! So, I get up and re swaddle him. He is still crying. I hold him for a few minutes to try to comfort him so he knows I am there, but I dont want to give in. I put him back in the pack and play, and try to sleep on the couch to see if I can ignore him. After 3 hours of me getting up and down and up and down, trying different things, and him screaming the whole time, I finally lay him next to me in my bed, and he calms down. He sleeps a few hours until about 5:30. By this time I still have only had like 3 total hours of sleep. I finally nurse him, hoping he will go back to sleep, but he only sleeps another 30 min or so. Then, all day he is fussy and crying because he is so tired. Alllll day. He only took two little naps today, and cried pretty much all day unless I was holding him. I was tired, he was tired, but at least sweet little Wesley was as happy as can be! :-) Luckily, not every day is like that, but when those days come, they really wear me out. However, after reading that article, I realized that it is OK to have those days. We ALL have those days in one way or another. Its all about climbing up my mountain, and its all about my journey. Not every day is an easy day, but the reward at the end of the journey will be worth it. I know I will be able to look back in 20 + years, and I will be able to say that I LOVED parenting. I loved the journey, and that I wouldn't change a thing. Do I love every moment? No. Do I sometimes want to ding dong ditch my kids on the neighbor's door step? Yes! Do I sometimes want to scream in a pillow after being puked on and pooped on while only living off of a few hours of sleep? Yes! And that is OK and normal!! I dont have to love and cherish every moment of parenting, but I LOVE being a parent, and I love the journey. I just didn't love everything about today, lol!
Here is my little poofy-headed stinker! He sure is a cute little stinker though!!!
1 comment:
I am sure everyone and their mom's gives you advice... BUT, I was given an awesome book called, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and it helped so much and was really enlightening. The woman who gave it to me had her 1st baby who didn't sleep well and then 2 others she used this book on and it helped her. I have been VERY lucky with Peyt, she is an awesome sleeper but I did use this book. Just thought I would mention it. BTW, I am a huge proponent of crying it out. It only needs to happen a handful of times before it doesn't happen anymore. :)
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